Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He did a backflip because drugs
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
