When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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