I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize