who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
