apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
