haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize