Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
