it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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