i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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