youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
