Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
