That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
