I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
