He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
