Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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