....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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