I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
