Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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