I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
