there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize