what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
