**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I didn't notice because vodka
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
