my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
