I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
