the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
