i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
