Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
