A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
