Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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