dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
