Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
