apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Houston, we have a squirter
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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