Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
