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• (817): View more from Texas

  I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I guess it was more of a nightmare.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND

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• (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing

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• (716): View more from New York

  He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.

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• (646): View more from New York

  You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Harry Potter marathon and no pants.

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