$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
