Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
