Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
