We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
