I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
