Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
