He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
