Can i not drive my cunt home
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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