omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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