Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
