It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
