you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
