Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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