just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
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