So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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