covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
