He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize