He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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