Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
