I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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