I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
