Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
