he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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