The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Everyone says I win the strip club
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
