If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
