what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
