You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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