One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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