you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
